By Mariyah
I sat on the edge of my bed and thought about the call from which I had just hung up. I really had missed Youssef. But I hadn’t planned on admitting it to him. In fact, I was annoyed at myself for caving so quickly. As soon as I had heard his voice, though, that was it. His voice always did something to me. It seemed to have the properties of an auditory opiate. The moment he spoke my name I dropped all barriers and drifted carefree upon its smooth tones. All the worries that had plagued me, before the conversation, drifted away. No one had ever had this kind of effect on me. A colleague once remarked that I “appeared impervious to romance”. It was surprising to her that I could write about it since I just “didn’t get it”. And she was right. It all seemed so superficial to me…until I met Youssef. But with him, romance was simply the icing on a rich and delicious cake, most of which I had yet to discover. The question was whether I would allow myself to really enjoy the taste. Later as I listened to the sweet words of his dedicated song, my resolve to remain respectfully distant was significantly weakened even further. I slept dreaming of what the following day might unfold.
—–
Sweet, summer, morning mists drifted through my bedroom window filling my airways with the combined scents of wildflowers, earth, and sea. I breathed deeply and rose to part the curtains away from the window so that I could enjoy the view. Strips of sunshine lit up the eastern sides of the whitewashed homes and pooled in the open fields as the rays climbed over the mountain peaks. I got a sudden urge to walk, maybe run, through the fields as far as I could go. I imagined myself in a floppy hat and flowing dress – yes, like a cliched romantic movie clip. I couldn’t help it. The place seemed to bring it out in me. Even though I was becoming increasingly aware of the heartbreak and suffocating traditions that crept through the lives of some of the people here, this view had such a contagious, warm, dream-like quality. I was easily swept away from a cool reality.
Quickly, so as not to lose my precious spark of spontaneity, I rifled through my dresses hung in the closet to find the most gracefully flowing one. I had brought one, packed at the last minute; floral, silk, cinched waist, low neckline. Perhaps more appropriate for an evening dinner date than a walk through a field, but at that moment I didn’t care. As I slipped it on, I felt a strange sense of freedom. I felt beautiful. I left my hair long and slipped on dainty sandals. I didn’t have the proper hat so I went without. As I opened the apartment door, the breezes caught my hair and caressed all of me tingling my skin pleasantly. I leapt down the stairs with a childlike giggle. I intended to head straight for the field but stopped abruptly when I became aware of someone sobbing nearby. I looked up and saw Yasmina leaning forlornly against her window and crying bitterly.
Sometimes people like to be left alone in their misery, but sometimes it is just impossible to turn your back.
“Yasmina?” I called up to her.
She shrunk away from the window and I instantly felt badly for my intrusion. But then she opened her door and motioned weakly for me to come up. I suddenly felt ridiculous in my florid dress but did not hesitate to help a friend who was so obviously in need. When I entered her apartment she was curled up, like a small child, in the corner of her sofa. I stood, motionless, in the doorway, not knowing whether to go to her or to give her some space.
“I love him, Amar. Oh god, how I love him.” she whispered between tears.
My heart filled with optimism but I erred on the side of caution. “Housam?”
“No, Amar. Yazan.” she looked at me pleadingly as if I might accuse her of treachery. “I loved Housam once, certainly, but that was so long ago. What am I going to do?”
It took everything in me to contain my glee. I sat on the edge of her sofa. “Yasmina, will you let me help you?”
“What could you possibly do?”
“I don’t know yet, but it would mean a lot to me to know you’ll accept my help when and if I can give it.”
Yasmina looked at me quizzically and then smiled sadly. “It is difficult to say no to you, Amar. Your eyes shine with such optimism – something I haven’t seen in so long.” She looked away toward the window. “I would do anything…” Her voice trailed off but I understood.
Just then, I heard the sound of a car pulling up outside the building. Yasmina looked at me and smiled. She had heard it too.
“Go! Don’t keep him waiting if you don’t need to.”
I reached out and grasped her hand. Her meaning hit me forcefully.
“Go, Amar.”
“Just tell me one thing, Yasmina.” I needed to know. “Why do you love him?”
“He is me.”
I reeled with the complex simplicity. He is me. He is me.
—–
Once outside, I waved excitedly, “Youssef!”, and bounded down the stairs. Youssef looked at me over the top of his car and continued to watch me approaching him as he rounded the car to meet me. I fell into his embrace and he kissed me hungrily.
“Yous…sef!” I tried to speak between kisses. Youssef…Please…Listen!”
“Kiss me.” He insisted. I fell silent as his lips met mine again and tenderly but effectively spoke of everything that mattered at that moment.
© Mariyah Ayoub and Mariyah’s Blog, 2008-2009. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mariyah Ayoub and Mariyah’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Mariyah
abufares
abufares said,
November 6, 2009 at 11:19 am
Like the “floral, silk, cinched waist, low neckline” dress Amar wore on that sweet summer morning your romantic prose infused me with a delicious sense of freedom.
I floated on cotton-candy words and basked in the rays of a “love” only Mariyah can do justice to with her sublimely simple and elegant style.
You’re opening up the spaces in front of me, you’re un-restricting my horizon and filling my blanks with notions I can only dream of conjuring in this story. You’re making it easy for me to move ahead by reaching for the sugary morsels of memories and fantasies buried deep in my soul.
I’ll pick it where you left it. Not today though as I will read this episode again and again and breathe your romantic scent as I walk by the sea.
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:03 pm
This chapter, dearest Abufares, was such a pleasure to write and if it inspired you then I am thrilled!
I am looking forward to your next chapter of beautiful words…very much.
Gabriela said,
November 6, 2009 at 5:54 pm
I may be starting to be a little imprudent, but I guess we all know what is that “everything that mattered at that moment”.
I loved the way Amar approached Yasmina. Not everybody
manages to realize when a person doesn’t want to be disturbed. These two women have such admirable strength, each in her own way.
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Thank you, Gabriela.
I hope we all know…lol…but I can spell it out if I must in a future chapter. Or perhaps Abufares will beat me to it!!
Fantasia Lillith said,
November 6, 2009 at 7:12 pm
“It seemed to have the properties of an auditory opiate ….”
I adore that line!! yes adore … not like, not love … adore that line! Perhaps because I know so well that state but could not find the words to describe it as well as you!
… and Yasmina’s response – he is me … *speechless*.
My dear I believe you outdid yourself!
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Thank you so much, Fantasia! You know sometimes I’ll write something and I think its a stroke of brilliance but no one else will notice. Its very satisfying when someone else does appreciate it the same thing.
Pearl said,
November 6, 2009 at 7:35 pm
*sigh*
I know I’ve been quiet of late, but I have been reading the episodes religiously…and there’s a bittersweet disappointment as I reach the final sentence…so again…
“sigh*
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:13 pm
Oh Pearl! Its lovely to see you. I’m so happy you’re still enjoying our story.
Wa3d said,
November 7, 2009 at 12:05 pm
you two are corrupting me with your delicious romance !
I would love to see how things work out for Yasmina so Abu Fares ,bsr3aaaa part 18 law sama7t haha
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Well, then, I’m glad you’ve been corrupted, Wa3d.
I have no idea what Abufares has up his sleeve…but I can’t wait to find out!!
Karin said,
November 7, 2009 at 5:58 pm
“… he is me” .. how deep, what a simple but yet profound statement! It renders me speechless as well. I absolutely love the story … I can see Yasmina and Amar … and Youssef and Yazan right in front of my eyes, I sense the deep affection, the passion – ahhhhh … FANTASTIC!!
I can’t wait for the next parts … you guys got me addicted!!!!!!!!!!!
Mariyah said,
November 7, 2009 at 11:17 pm
Karin! You’re an addict…how wonderful!! We are always thrilled to see you and your enthusiasm here. Thank you.
Neetu said,
November 9, 2009 at 2:22 pm
hi mariyah and abufares, you both are fabulous and flawless. Somehow i couldnt manage to read it on friday and now when i read it. i enjoyed it so much and wanted to write but everything is already writtedn, but still couldn’t stop myself from writing that i LOVED it.
Mariyah said,
November 9, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Neetu, we’re always happy to see you here and to know that you “loved it”! Thank you so much!
Pearl said,
November 9, 2009 at 7:22 pm
mariyah,
without any “mujamaleh”, you’re writing is so fluid, so complex yet simple, you (and aboufares of course), make it look so easy…i’d like to ask for your mentorship, and invite you to visit my blog, Pearl Nights (http://pearlnights.blogspot.com/) …i’m an aspiring writer and i’m trying to not write so much like a marketing professional, and more like a person (if that makes sense)…any criticism is constructive!
Mariyah said,
November 9, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Pearl, thank you for the link to your beautiful blog. You’re story, as you might have noticed by my comments, is completely captivating! I am anxiously awaiting your next chapter! I have added you to my blogroll so I hope others will have a look too!
abufares said,
November 10, 2009 at 1:09 pm
You’re off to a great start Pearl!
And this is not a “mujamaleh” either.
I’m so happy the Syrian Blogsphere is proliferating into this rich literary niche and your presence is certainly a new asset to us all.
My first recommendation is to enlist your blog on Syplanet http://www.syplanet.com for quick and wide exposure. With the quality of your writing and the intensity of your first story (that we know of) you will sure acquire a wide readership base.
Thank you Pearl for gracing our story, Mariyah’s and mine, with your comments. I have already linked to your blog on mine:-)
Superkid said,
November 12, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Again, I like this story and continue to read it through Google Translator. I think it’s losing part of its charm but at least I’m getting the general meaning.
I always wait for each episode and read it on my day off.
Mariyah said,
November 13, 2009 at 6:28 am
Well, if it isn’t my favourite young reader back again! Thank you, Superkid, for making the effort to follow even if the translator doesn’t do such a wonderful job. It’s very frustrating and I wish there was a better solution. Just know that seeing your sweet face here makes my day!:)
pearl said,
November 13, 2009 at 8:53 am
18 is on its way!!! *anxiously waiting!!!*
Katia said,
November 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm
I’m glad you made her admit that love Mariyah, no matter how hard it is! It’s funny how I come back running to your story whenever I miss a part because of circumstances… Very intriguing and romantic.
Mariyah said,
November 18, 2009 at 5:51 am
Katia! I was worried about you not showing up as usual. I’m glad you made it back to us. I needed to write a romantic episode. It felt good…now look what I have to contend with after Part 18!!!