Mariyah's Blog

After Alexandra and Ghassan hung up the phone with Frau Hanauer they looked at each other in stunned silence. Alexandra’s mind was spinning. Everything was overwhelming her and it felt completely wrong. She had thought after talking to Frau Hanauer, she would feel more at ease, but it was quite the opposite. She felt as though her life was being spun out of control, as though she were in a centrifuge and someone had pushed the on-switch. It was almost as if she and Ghassan were merely puppets acting out someone else’s plan. She suddenly had the urge to grab onto something to stop the spinning, to stop the show. But what was solid enough to hold?

Alexandra looked into Ghassan’s eyes. There was a wildness there as if he too was feeling the same way as she – very unsteady. She grabbed his hand and held it firmly in hers.

“Is this what you want?” Ghassan asked, his brow furrowed.

“Yes.” Alexandra shook her head. “I mean, yes, I want to marry you. But all of this isn’t…right.”

“I don’t want it to happen like this either.” The wildness in Ghassan’s eyes turned from confusion to determination in an instant; the intensity that made him so compelling had returned. “Enough of this farce, I am going to speak to your father! I do want to marry you, but not like this. Not like this at all. Marrying in secret and hurry only implies we are doing something wrong…clandestine almost. And it is not wrong that we love one another and I love you very much.”

“I love you too!”, Alexandra’s heart melted. It was the first time he had ever directly spoken those words to her. “But we need to face my father together, Ghassan. We need to do this together.” As her own words echoed in her head, she felt a strong resolve throughout – particularly in her heart. She was still terrified of her father but if she could hold Ghassan’s hand, she felt that maybe she could face anything.

Ghassan held her face in his hands? “Are you sure?”

Alexandra nodded. She had rarely been sure of anything in her life or cared to be sure of anything. Almost all was looked after for her or decided for her. But today she felt that she needed to be sure of the course her life would take – at least the part of it that she could control.

Ghassan must have seen something in her eyes that spoke of her resolve. “Alright. Yes. Let’s do it together! I’ll call a taxi.”

“Wait, Ghassan!” Alexandra marveled at his decisiveness but she needed to plan. She needed to decide upon and to rehearse ahead of time what to say to her father. She was getting pretty good at predicting his responses to any particular statement and she needed to know what to expect from Ghassan. She needed to warn him if he would be wading into murky waters by his comments. “What will we say?”

“What do mean, Alexandra?” Ghassan immediately looked perplexed. “I’ll tell him that I shall marry you, that I shall look after you.”

“Come. Let’s sit down and plan this.” She tugged gently on his hand that she still held, urging him toward the salon. “I think you know that my father is a very rigid man and there are certain ways to act and not to act with him.”

Ghassan pulled back, drawing her close to him, he held her firmly but not roughly. “I have dealt with men far more rigid than your father. With all due respect to you, there is no planning required. I shall simply tell him what I am going to do, what we are going to do.”

Alexandra cringed, “Ghassan, with all due respect to you, he will laugh in your face. You have no power over him. He holds all of the cards. If he takes away my money, my student Visa, I’ll have no choice but to return home with him.”

As Alexandra looked into Ghassan’s face she was startled to see his dark eyes had gotten even darker. “Your father does not hold all of the cards. He does not hold you. You are with me. He cannot force you on a plane and he cannot take away your Visa. That is your Visa.”

“But he said…” Alexandra started.

“He told you that to keep you under his control, Alexandra.” Ghassan put his hand behind her neck and drew her in even closer. “But in reality, the only control he has over you is in your head. Push him out, Alexandra! Take away the power he has over you and be with me.”

Suddenly, as though a curtain had been lifted, Alexandra felt as if she was finally seeing everything more clearly than she ever had. The centrifuge had stopped and everything previously obscured was now separated out in plain view. She had always been her father’s puppet but Ghassan had shown her the strings so that she could cut them. She wasn’t sure yet how sharp her scissors would be, but she did feel she had the strength to wield them. After taking a deep breath, she squeezed Ghassan’s hand tightly. “Alright, Ghassan. I’m ready. Let’s go.”

In the salon of his residence, Ghassan deliberately sat across from Alexandra on a separate sofa. Flashes of what had taken place in the pantry continued to titillate him. Sitting next to Alexandra, would have been too much of a distraction and now, more than ever, he needed a clear mind. He was determined to settle this issue with her father once and for all. He couldn’t stand to see Alexandra in such distress. Looking into her beautiful eyes and seeing such pain there brought pain to his own heart. For a while, Ghassan and Alexandra sat in silence, each consumed in their own thoughts. The impact of the situation was finally starting to sink in and it didn’t appear as though an answer to the problem was going to arrive swiftly.

The long, low light of late afternoon softly infused the salon with a dreamy glow. Ghassan looked to Alexandra and finally allowed himself to be distracted by her. He couldn’t help but admire how the mellow light created an auburn halo around her red locks. But as he drew his eyes away from that lovely phenomenon, he was startled to notice that she was visibly shaking. Quickly, he went to sit by her and took her in his arms once again. Even then, her body continued to quiver uncontrollably. When he looked into her eyes, he saw the anxiety that had risen there.

“Are you cold?” he asked with concern.

Alexandra gave a weak smile and softly replied, “Yes, Ghassan. I can’t seem to warm up.”

“Let me get you a throw.” Ghassan rose to get one for her when she took his hand.

“No, Ghassan. Just keep holding me, please.” Her eyes pleaded with him. “I feel much better with you beside me.”

Ghassan smiled as he seated himself again and admitted, “I feel better here, too, Alexandra.”

With Alexandra’s head on his shoulder, Ghassan resumed his thoughts. He still believed that he should face her father. But now he was concerned that the police would be involved since it appeared that Alexandra’s father would go to any lengths to ensure his demands were met. Ghassan couldn’t risk putting Alexandra in jeopardy of being forced to leave with her father. He thought of leaving her at his residence and returning to Frau Hanauer’s himself. But what if her father had convinced the police that Ghassan had kidnapped his daughter? Then he might be taken in for questioning which, ultimately, would cause more stress for Alexandra – not to mention, for him too.

As Alexandra’s shaking had abated somewhat, Ghassan concluded that the first thing that should be done was to call Frau Hanauer to let her know that Alexandra was okay. He figured the wise woman may also have a solution to the situation or at least some suggestions on what they might do next. He also believed that Frau Hanauer would not betray them to Professor Cochrane and as he conveyed these ideas to Alexandra, he saw that she, too, felt comfortable with the idea.

—–

Frau Hanauer’s voice was like a light breeze that can softly lift a dense fog. She cooed and fussed over Ghassan and Alexandra as if they were two children who had run to the arms of their mother. Frau Hanauer’s relief in hearing from them was very evident. As Ghassan imagined she would, she spoke softly in her office so as not to alert Alexandra’s father.

“Alexandra, your father went to the police. But I’ve made some phone calls too. There’s only one solution to this situation.” Frau Hanauer said with conviction. “If you are married, no one can force you to do anything.”

The words danced in the air before Ghassan. If you are married. For months now he had been envisioning Alexandra as his wife. He had dreamed of proposing to her romantically. What was now being proposed, however, by Frau Hanauer, had removed all of the romance from the picture. He would wed Alexandra out of necessity rather than by following the regular course of love. Love sped up? Surely the end would justify the means. Putting that all aside, there were also the practicalities. He had no desire to marry in a church and he had never spoken to Alexandra about converting to Islam. He had no idea whether or not she would be willing. And where would they find an Imam to marry them that day?

Frau Hanauer had worked that out too.